A Brief List That Explains Why No One Understands My Children...

One rare night, not too long ago, my husband and I were out. Alone. The children had been left at home with a babysitter, and we had escaped to spend some quality time alone (read: no one interrupting every 30 seconds to demand anything or squeal on one's sibling/s). We hadn't been gone very long when we received a panicked phone call from the intrepid young lady looking after the kids.

"Help!" she cried. "The kids want circles and kikis...I have no idea what they're talking about!"

Laughing, my husband translated for our confused sitter. "English muffins and their blankets," he told her.

I'm sure most families have their own unique language and slang that makes it hard for those outside the circle to understand what they are talking about. And so, here is a brief list of the terms that my children use...and explains why no one but Brian and I seem to understand them...

circles - as previously mentioned, english muffins to the outside world, circles to us (you can understand right? Their shape? Obviously, they are circles.)

chicken cereal - aka Corn Flakes; a name given to the illustrious cereal when Ian was about 2 years old...because of the big green chicken on the box

kazoo - ski doo - last Easter at my sister's house, my then 5 year old daughter came into the house telling me that "Auntie Shelley wants to take you for a ride on the kazoo"; when I asked what a "kazoo" was, she informed me, "You know, the thing-a-ma-jig!"

honey nut cheerios - Jamie's name for all Cheerios, regardless of brand name or flavor

kikis - Emma and Jamie's blankets...we think the name derives from them hearing Avery calling for her "blankie"...but kiki is what they call them...interestingly, Emma's kiki is a girl and Jamie's is a boy...I personally never knew blankets had a gender, but what do I know?

binny - pronounced "be-nay" - kind of like an Italian mobster from one of the "Godfather" movies...also known as Ian's blanket (and what he started calling it at the age of 2, and no, he's never seen a mob movie, so where the accent came from, I do not know)

heart cereal - Avery's favorite cereal. Most people know it as Bran Flakes; to Avery it is heart cereal because of the heart check symbol on the box

hanitizer - hand sanitizer... Ian couldn't say the word when he had to use it starting in grade 1, and so it is now "hanitizer" to all of us ...

pooter - computer...I'm sure we're not the only ones who use this term, but it is funny when it's a pair of four year olds using it...

orngin - oranges..."Orngin" is what Emma and Jamie call them, and no matter how many times I try to tell them the right way to say it, they are still "orngins"...although frankly, it's a little too close to the old slang word "injuns" for my liking...

So there you have it...my children in all their unique and highly amusing glory. I'm sure that as the years go by, more and more terms will be added to the list, but for now, I think I'll step away from the pooter, pick up kikis and go grab an orngin to eat.