...which means Mama freaked out today...
I am a neat freak.
There. I've said it.
I need my space (and by my space, I mean every corner of my house) to be neat and tidy...no clutter whatsoever...to feel cool and calm...
As you can imagine, with four children, three pets and a husband, this is something that is rather difficult to achieve...
It is now two days before Christmas Eve, the children are home on vacation, as is Brian and the house seems to have exploded...there are bits of crap everywhere I look...toys that have been left wherever some child has dropped them...leftover Christmas cards (from our mad dash to make sure everyone on our list gets one-which is something we never used to do, but somehow have fallen prey in the last few years to the Christmas card mania/pressure to send them out)...little bits and pieces that seem to have accumulated on the dishwasher, the kitchen counters, the top of the piano...
Added to the mess is the knowledge that there are presents that still need to be wrapped, baking that I promised for Christmas dinner and a puppy who pees on the carpet every time he's about to hit a growth spurt (did I mention he's about to grow? Again?) and you end up with my head spinning like a top while steam streams from my nostrils (picture a pressure cooker about to blow and you get the idea)...
Brian took the kids out to the sorting station to mail their letters to Santa today...firstly so their letters will get there on time and more importantly, to save their little lives...
While they were gone, I hung the pictures I wanted, cleaned the main level of the house and started wrapping some of those gifts...but not before I screamed, yelled and cried because I felt so much stress that I told the dogs I was going to cancel Christmas at the Lilley household (they didn't answer, so I figured they didn't care one way or the other)...I ran from one room to the other, not knowing what to do first and finally ended up stopping in the dining room, crying, utterly exhausted...that was when I finally looked up to the heavens and asked for some help...and found out once again that God is pretty good at coming to my rescue...that one little prayer helped take my stress away...and by the time the five of them got home, Mama was a sane person once again...
I sat calmly and quietly on the couch for a few minutes with Brian, describing the freak out I'd had while he was gone (I even yelled at him - while he was gone and couldn't hear me and didn't know I was doing it - for failing to make the bed when he got up this morning...the fact that I was the last one in it didn't matter at that point)...and as we sat there, I realized that as I gazed around the room, I felt peaceful and relaxed because everything was neat and tidy (we won't even talk about the kitchen or our bedroom which have yet to be tidied up)...
It's a sickness...I know...
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Brrr....
Considering today it was -16 with a windchill factor making it seem more like minus 30, all I can say is I'm glad today wasn't a training run day...
Really, really hoping that it warms up just a wee bit for Saturday morning's long run...
Really, really hoping that it warms up just a wee bit for Saturday morning's long run...
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
I Can't Believe I Saw What I Saw...
Driving down the street this afternoon, a car in front of me suddenly slowed down...
The reason?
His left front tire came off the car and started down the road by itself!
Buddy pulled off to the side of the road, got out of his car and chased his wayward tire down the street...
If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes...
The reason?
His left front tire came off the car and started down the road by itself!
Buddy pulled off to the side of the road, got out of his car and chased his wayward tire down the street...
If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes...
Sunday, December 13, 2009
The Update That Is W-a-a-y Overdue...
It is December 13 and it has been a month and a half since I have posted anything here...
I don't even have my sister's excuse of just having had a baby...
My excuse is that I spent November trying to get my iron levels raised...for those of you who may not know, I was so tired the entire month of October that I did things that are nearly unprecedented for me...I took naps. I could barely get out of bed in the morning and once I did finally drag myself out, I ended up lying down on the couch, pitifully and plaintively begging Brian to bring me a cup of industrial strength coffee in the vain hope that it would help me get moving...
For a few weeks, I thought it was mainly the aftereffects of having swine flu, but when I finally did get in to see my doctor (not because he wasn't available, but because I stubbornly refused to believe that my lethargy was due to anything other than my own weakness-yes, I am that hard on myself), he ordered blood tests and lo, and behold, my ferritin levels were at 9. They should have been at 80. A touch anemic, shall we say?
Oy vey...
So Doc informs me that I should start taking a certain iron supplement, twice a day for at least six months, at which point, we'll re-do the bloodwork...which was great news, except for one minor detail. Said supplement was like trying to find a needle in a friggin' haystack...
When I finally found the stuff, I happily started taking the little green pills (little might be a tad of a stretch...they are about a half inch long!), my energy levels started coming up (miracle of miracles!) and then I found out that I couldn't get another bottle...why? Because the manufacturer hadn't expected such a huge demand and they were on a two month backorder/waiting list for the stuff! Which meant that for two glorious weeks, I started feeling better and then spent another three on a slow backward slide towards the land of zero energy...
On the upside, I went to my pharmacy one day to pick up insulin for myself, happened to enquire about the iron, and discovered that just that morning, a fresh supply had arrived...I quickly bought a bottle and started taking the pills again...only, in an effort to save money (and the possibility that there will be another wait for the stuff), I'm only taking one a day...sorry Dr. Barry!...however, my energy levels have started coming up again and it's nice to start feeling human this close to Christmas...
Which brings me to my latest...
I am insane.
Why?
Because I have decided to run a marathon.
About 15 years ago, I started running. Ten years ago, I was pregnant with my first child and wasn't running at all...about a year after Ian was born, I decided to try running again...at which point, I found out that having a baby had left me with the inability to run without peeing myself...of course, I thought I was doing something wrong and ranted and raved at myself for days (ok, probably weeks) on end for being a failure...
Yeah, yeah, I know, not being able to run does not make me (or anyone else) a loser...but I did say that I was hard on myself, did I not?
Two years later, I tried again (after baby #2 had made her appearance), with the same effect...
More ranting and name calling ensued...
In the spring of 2007, I decided that enough was enough and I was ready to try strapping on the shoes again...and ran in my very first race that July...a 5km race that was just for fun (and to prove to myself that I could do it)...once the race was over, I decided to enter a 10k race. I ran that race in September 2007, but about 8 km into it, my right knee felt like someone was taking a hot poker to it and I had to walk a chunk of the race (I finished running, but I was down on myself for not being able to run the entire thing...but I finished, I kept telling myself)...for the next few weeks after the race, I hobbled around, wondering if I would ever be able to run again...
Which I couldn't, not really, because on top of the knee issues, I also ended up peeing myself every time I went out for a run...the after effect of having four babies in just under four years...
I had sort of resigned myself to the fact that I would never be a runner again...which bothered me, because I love it...
And then a few weeks ago, I was watching "The Biggest Loser" on a Tuesday night...I watch it because I find it inspiring...it drives me to want to work out longer, stronger...and frankly, seeing how big some of those contestants are makes me feel teeny, tiny (which some days I need, especially if I'm feeling particularly blah)...and these people, who all outweighed me by at least 50 pounds, were running a marathon...their knees were screaming at them and they weren't running very fast, but they were running and they just kept going, no matter how much they wanted to stop...
Now, part of not stopping may have been the camera crew in their faces and not wanting to look bad on tv, but I happen to think that the real reason they kept pounding the pavement was to prove to themselves that they could do it...
And I want to prove to me that I can do it too...
So last week, I started running again...just for 15 minutes at a time...and I only went out three days...but I did it...and by Wednesday, I was on the phone with my sister (the one who just had a baby two months ago), asking her if she wanted to run it with me...she's not sure (she does have this weird foot problem that no one seems to be able to figure out-it's been swollen for something like 7 years now), but whether she joins me or not, I am doing this.
On May 30, 2010, at 7 am, I am going to be standing with thousands of other runners, waiting for the starting gun...I won't win any speed records, but I will prove to myself that I can finish the race and when I do, that little nasty voice inside my head that tells me I can't do it, whatever it is...will be shut up forever...
I don't even have my sister's excuse of just having had a baby...
My excuse is that I spent November trying to get my iron levels raised...for those of you who may not know, I was so tired the entire month of October that I did things that are nearly unprecedented for me...I took naps. I could barely get out of bed in the morning and once I did finally drag myself out, I ended up lying down on the couch, pitifully and plaintively begging Brian to bring me a cup of industrial strength coffee in the vain hope that it would help me get moving...
For a few weeks, I thought it was mainly the aftereffects of having swine flu, but when I finally did get in to see my doctor (not because he wasn't available, but because I stubbornly refused to believe that my lethargy was due to anything other than my own weakness-yes, I am that hard on myself), he ordered blood tests and lo, and behold, my ferritin levels were at 9. They should have been at 80. A touch anemic, shall we say?
Oy vey...
So Doc informs me that I should start taking a certain iron supplement, twice a day for at least six months, at which point, we'll re-do the bloodwork...which was great news, except for one minor detail. Said supplement was like trying to find a needle in a friggin' haystack...
When I finally found the stuff, I happily started taking the little green pills (little might be a tad of a stretch...they are about a half inch long!), my energy levels started coming up (miracle of miracles!) and then I found out that I couldn't get another bottle...why? Because the manufacturer hadn't expected such a huge demand and they were on a two month backorder/waiting list for the stuff! Which meant that for two glorious weeks, I started feeling better and then spent another three on a slow backward slide towards the land of zero energy...
On the upside, I went to my pharmacy one day to pick up insulin for myself, happened to enquire about the iron, and discovered that just that morning, a fresh supply had arrived...I quickly bought a bottle and started taking the pills again...only, in an effort to save money (and the possibility that there will be another wait for the stuff), I'm only taking one a day...sorry Dr. Barry!...however, my energy levels have started coming up again and it's nice to start feeling human this close to Christmas...
Which brings me to my latest...
I am insane.
Why?
Because I have decided to run a marathon.
About 15 years ago, I started running. Ten years ago, I was pregnant with my first child and wasn't running at all...about a year after Ian was born, I decided to try running again...at which point, I found out that having a baby had left me with the inability to run without peeing myself...of course, I thought I was doing something wrong and ranted and raved at myself for days (ok, probably weeks) on end for being a failure...
Yeah, yeah, I know, not being able to run does not make me (or anyone else) a loser...but I did say that I was hard on myself, did I not?
Two years later, I tried again (after baby #2 had made her appearance), with the same effect...
More ranting and name calling ensued...
In the spring of 2007, I decided that enough was enough and I was ready to try strapping on the shoes again...and ran in my very first race that July...a 5km race that was just for fun (and to prove to myself that I could do it)...once the race was over, I decided to enter a 10k race. I ran that race in September 2007, but about 8 km into it, my right knee felt like someone was taking a hot poker to it and I had to walk a chunk of the race (I finished running, but I was down on myself for not being able to run the entire thing...but I finished, I kept telling myself)...for the next few weeks after the race, I hobbled around, wondering if I would ever be able to run again...
Which I couldn't, not really, because on top of the knee issues, I also ended up peeing myself every time I went out for a run...the after effect of having four babies in just under four years...
I had sort of resigned myself to the fact that I would never be a runner again...which bothered me, because I love it...
And then a few weeks ago, I was watching "The Biggest Loser" on a Tuesday night...I watch it because I find it inspiring...it drives me to want to work out longer, stronger...and frankly, seeing how big some of those contestants are makes me feel teeny, tiny (which some days I need, especially if I'm feeling particularly blah)...and these people, who all outweighed me by at least 50 pounds, were running a marathon...their knees were screaming at them and they weren't running very fast, but they were running and they just kept going, no matter how much they wanted to stop...
Now, part of not stopping may have been the camera crew in their faces and not wanting to look bad on tv, but I happen to think that the real reason they kept pounding the pavement was to prove to themselves that they could do it...
And I want to prove to me that I can do it too...
So last week, I started running again...just for 15 minutes at a time...and I only went out three days...but I did it...and by Wednesday, I was on the phone with my sister (the one who just had a baby two months ago), asking her if she wanted to run it with me...she's not sure (she does have this weird foot problem that no one seems to be able to figure out-it's been swollen for something like 7 years now), but whether she joins me or not, I am doing this.
On May 30, 2010, at 7 am, I am going to be standing with thousands of other runners, waiting for the starting gun...I won't win any speed records, but I will prove to myself that I can finish the race and when I do, that little nasty voice inside my head that tells me I can't do it, whatever it is...will be shut up forever...
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Boo!
So last night was Halloween and I can truthfully say that I am glad it's over. I am one of the few people I know who doesn't like the yearly ghoul fest that takes over the month of October.
Now don't get me wrong, I like seeing little children in cute costumes come traipsing up my walk...I like hearing their little voices trilling out "Trick or treat"...and I like seeing the brief confusion on the older ones when I say "Trick!"...but I don't like being scared, I don't like creepy costumes, books or music, or the emphasis on the evil undead and despite my neighbour's best efforts to convince me that the "House on Haunted Hill" (1959) is a classic, I do not now, never have and never will like scary movies...
And right now I am exhausted (as is my husband) because we have four young children who love go out trick or treating (really? is that a verb?)...which means four costumes to either buy, or in our case, make...
Around mid-September, my boys came to me and holding the Christmas edition of the Sears catalogue aloft, informed me that for Halloween (yes, Halloween costumes in the Christmas catalogue) they wanted to be Obi-Wan Kenobi (from Star Wars Episode 1-that would be Ewan McGregor-for those of you who may have been living on another planet for the last 30 some odd years) and Batman.
Now, the Obi-Wan costume I could understand, since it was Ian making the request and the boy loves Star Wars...but Jamie wanted to be Batman, which I found an odd choice, since he's never seen Batman, other than a commercial or two and in the Sears catalogue...what I really couldn't understand though, was the cost of the costumes...$60 each...and doing the mental math, I realized that if we were to buy all four kids costumes for Halloween, we would be spending over $240 (don't forget there's tax on top of everything)...and that doesn't even include the cost of candy to hand out to other kids...
As September rolled into October and Halloween inched ever closer, I kept hoping the boys would change their minds and maybe want to go as the Transformers they were last year, since they still had the costumes and had worn them periodically over the last 12 months...but, no such luck. Obi-Wan and Batman were what they wanted and they were not changing their minds for nuttin'...luckily the girls wanted to be fairy princesses, which meant they could wear their Easter dresses (purchased for Easter 2007, obviously way bigger than they needed at the time) yet again and would only need some (dollar store) wands, tiaras and wings...
The problem of what to do for the boys remained, though, until earlier this week, when inspiration struck...my sister had emptied her closets a few months ago (her son had outgrown some of his things and so she handed them off to my boys) and included in the pile of pants and shirts was the very large piece of dark brown fabric with which she had used to cover her old dining room chairs...
Eureka! Enter Obi-Wan's cloak...followed by a pair of khaki coloured pants, a white tunic (which is my beach cover up), strips of brown cloth wrapped around Ian's waist and legs, one toy light saber (a Christmas gift from last year) and the worried look on Ian's face was replaced by smiles of joy...
As for Jamie's Batman costume? Well, someone had given the child a Darth Vader costume last year at Christmas (I can't remember who it came from) and we tried and tried to convince Jamie to go out as Vader, so he and Ian could "battle" for their candy...but no, Batman was what he wanted and Batman is what he got...because we turned the Vader costume inside out, put Ian's yellow belt from karate around his waist, and were given a Batman mask (from last year's Halloween bonanza) from our friends and neighbours, Shelby and Ian...and poof! One Dark Knight at your service...
(A little note about the mask...before Shelby found the Batman mask, we were a little stumped about how to make one for Jamie-I had the idea of cutting his Bumblebee mask from last year-it was ripped anyway-and putting black electrical tape on it and Brian made the actual mask...it looked really close to the Batman one, but once Jamie saw the mask from Shelby and Ian, that was the one he wanted)
The kids, dressed in their Halloween glory and in layers (Canadian tradition states the costume must be able to fit over snowsuits and/or sweaters and jackets), grabbed reuseable grocery bags (they weren't the only ones carrying them, I noticed) and headed out the door with Brian, while I sat on the front step handing out candy to the wandering masses...
So although I remain a somewhat less than entralled fan of Halloween, and am glad that it's over (other than the 50 pounds of candy the children are now trying to wade through), I am willing to put up with it all, just to see the happiness on my kids' faces...
Happy Halloween!
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
A Rant...
When it comes to this blog, I have generally kept the topics fairly light and easy going...talking about the kids, my recent obsession with Julia Child, discussing thirty years of living with diabetes...I have kept my opinions on certain topics (read: politics) to myself, not wanting to offend anyone with what I might happen to say here...
Well today, I have reached my breaking point and I don't flipping care if I offend anyone...
Like most people I know, I am on Facebook. A social network where I routinely read the political leanings of friends (most of whom I haven't seen in years, but who I still am interested in knowing and in hearing about their lives)...
For the past year or so, I have been very aware that my views are not shared by very many people who are listed as my "friends"...most of them (not all, but a lot of them) appear to be very left leaning when it comes to anything having to do with politics...
The following revelation will no doubt shock a few people who knew me years ago, and be a no-brainer for those who know me now...
I am a Conservative. Big f'in' C.
And frankly, I'm sick and tired of listening to the garbage that spews forth from the mouths of people who are on the left.
Our Prime Minister did a very cool thing on Saturday (October 3, 2009) and I have heard more shit about Stephen Harper playing the piano than even I thought possible. Are you jealous that you can't do it? Or are you so blinded by hatred for someone who hasn't done a thing to deserve the absolute venom spewed at him that you can't just say, hey, good one?
People on the left accuse people like me of being small minded, mean spirited, homophobic, anti-women, anti-immigrant...you name it, I'm it...because I happen to be a social and fiscal Conservative. Oh, I'm probably also against gun control and likely don't like apple pie or hummus...
Bullshit. All of it.
What I am, is fed up with this attitude that I am not entitled to hold the opinions I do because they disagree with yours. What I am, is fed up with a media that falls all over itself if Barack Obama smiles at a small child, continues to vilify George Bush, and yet somehow manages to fail to grasp the fact that Obama has left many of Bush's policies intact. (See the video below if you don't believe me)
I am fed up with the disrespect given to Canada's leader, because even if you didn't vote for Stephen Harper or his party, even if you can't stand the fact that the Conservatives are in power, you should damn well have respect for the fact that the man is leading your country.
And mostly, I am sick and tired of rude, obnoxious behaviour masquerading as political comment.
To quote Bon Jovi..."Have a nice day."
Well today, I have reached my breaking point and I don't flipping care if I offend anyone...
Like most people I know, I am on Facebook. A social network where I routinely read the political leanings of friends (most of whom I haven't seen in years, but who I still am interested in knowing and in hearing about their lives)...
For the past year or so, I have been very aware that my views are not shared by very many people who are listed as my "friends"...most of them (not all, but a lot of them) appear to be very left leaning when it comes to anything having to do with politics...
The following revelation will no doubt shock a few people who knew me years ago, and be a no-brainer for those who know me now...
I am a Conservative. Big f'in' C.
And frankly, I'm sick and tired of listening to the garbage that spews forth from the mouths of people who are on the left.
Our Prime Minister did a very cool thing on Saturday (October 3, 2009) and I have heard more shit about Stephen Harper playing the piano than even I thought possible. Are you jealous that you can't do it? Or are you so blinded by hatred for someone who hasn't done a thing to deserve the absolute venom spewed at him that you can't just say, hey, good one?
People on the left accuse people like me of being small minded, mean spirited, homophobic, anti-women, anti-immigrant...you name it, I'm it...because I happen to be a social and fiscal Conservative. Oh, I'm probably also against gun control and likely don't like apple pie or hummus...
Bullshit. All of it.
What I am, is fed up with this attitude that I am not entitled to hold the opinions I do because they disagree with yours. What I am, is fed up with a media that falls all over itself if Barack Obama smiles at a small child, continues to vilify George Bush, and yet somehow manages to fail to grasp the fact that Obama has left many of Bush's policies intact. (See the video below if you don't believe me)
I am fed up with the disrespect given to Canada's leader, because even if you didn't vote for Stephen Harper or his party, even if you can't stand the fact that the Conservatives are in power, you should damn well have respect for the fact that the man is leading your country.
And mostly, I am sick and tired of rude, obnoxious behaviour masquerading as political comment.
To quote Bon Jovi..."Have a nice day."
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Aack! Oink, Oink...
Friday, September 18, 2009...
The last day I felt truly well...
We had friends over for dinner that night and by the time they went home for the evening, my nose and throat had that itchy, scratchy, uh-oh I'm coming down with something feel to them...
By the next morning, I was definitely sick...
And have been for two weeks straight...
I kept hoping that I would wake up one morning and miraculously feel better, but alas, no such luck...
Brian forced me to go to the doctor on Thursday (ok, it wasn't that I was refusing to, I just hadn't been able to get in, but somehow Brian not only got through to the receptionist, he also managed to snag the last open appointment for me)...anyway, Thursday morning saw me sitting with our doctor, telling him my symptoms...low grade fever, aches, pains, chills, runny nose, stuffed up nose, cough (oh the coughing!), nausea...and guess what?
I have the flu...
The flu...
The one that everyone is afraid to say out loud because they think a hasmat team is going to come swooping down and quarantine entire neighbourhoods to try to save us all from the dreaded (ssh!) swine flu...
Now first off, I refuse to call it that bunch of numbers and letters that the media is calling it...everyone I know calls it swine flu (although I do have a nurse friend who says that at the hospital she works at, the staff is referring to it as "heiney"-which I like and have now used a few times myself)...and I know the reason for changing the name was because pig farmers were getting upset because people weren't buying as much pork (but hey, that meant cheaper meat for the rest of us who are smart enough to figure out that Canadian pigs were/are not to blame for this)...
Secondly, a few people have called up to make sure that I'm ok (I am) and wanting to discuss what it's like having swine flu...
It's like having the flu.
Brian, my husband, who is a reporter here in Ottawa, has had to cover swine flu extensively since this whole thing started up and so I believe him (over other media reports) when he tells me that the Chief Medical Officer of Canada says that swine flu killed less people than the seasonal flu last year and that it is no more severe than regular flu this year for most people...which is true every year. If you have an underlying medical condition, you are at a higher risk for getting it (which, being diabetic, means that I am in that category). The bigger problem comes if you develop pneumonia along with the flu (again, I had pneumonia last spring, so I'm more likely to get it again-but so far, my lungs are clear, something for which I am grateful) because you can go from being ok to very ill pretty quickly...but that is something that can happen with plain old flu too...
So. The moral of the story is: #1: Don't freak out if you hear the words "swine flu". Get as much rest as possible (not so easy in this house, but I'm trying) and #2: Don't listen to any other reporter but Brian Lilley. Seriously...
And now I'm going back to bed...
The last day I felt truly well...
We had friends over for dinner that night and by the time they went home for the evening, my nose and throat had that itchy, scratchy, uh-oh I'm coming down with something feel to them...
By the next morning, I was definitely sick...
And have been for two weeks straight...
I kept hoping that I would wake up one morning and miraculously feel better, but alas, no such luck...
Brian forced me to go to the doctor on Thursday (ok, it wasn't that I was refusing to, I just hadn't been able to get in, but somehow Brian not only got through to the receptionist, he also managed to snag the last open appointment for me)...anyway, Thursday morning saw me sitting with our doctor, telling him my symptoms...low grade fever, aches, pains, chills, runny nose, stuffed up nose, cough (oh the coughing!), nausea...and guess what?
I have the flu...
The flu...
The one that everyone is afraid to say out loud because they think a hasmat team is going to come swooping down and quarantine entire neighbourhoods to try to save us all from the dreaded (ssh!) swine flu...
Now first off, I refuse to call it that bunch of numbers and letters that the media is calling it...everyone I know calls it swine flu (although I do have a nurse friend who says that at the hospital she works at, the staff is referring to it as "heiney"-which I like and have now used a few times myself)...and I know the reason for changing the name was because pig farmers were getting upset because people weren't buying as much pork (but hey, that meant cheaper meat for the rest of us who are smart enough to figure out that Canadian pigs were/are not to blame for this)...
Secondly, a few people have called up to make sure that I'm ok (I am) and wanting to discuss what it's like having swine flu...
It's like having the flu.
Brian, my husband, who is a reporter here in Ottawa, has had to cover swine flu extensively since this whole thing started up and so I believe him (over other media reports) when he tells me that the Chief Medical Officer of Canada says that swine flu killed less people than the seasonal flu last year and that it is no more severe than regular flu this year for most people...which is true every year. If you have an underlying medical condition, you are at a higher risk for getting it (which, being diabetic, means that I am in that category). The bigger problem comes if you develop pneumonia along with the flu (again, I had pneumonia last spring, so I'm more likely to get it again-but so far, my lungs are clear, something for which I am grateful) because you can go from being ok to very ill pretty quickly...but that is something that can happen with plain old flu too...
So. The moral of the story is: #1: Don't freak out if you hear the words "swine flu". Get as much rest as possible (not so easy in this house, but I'm trying) and #2: Don't listen to any other reporter but Brian Lilley. Seriously...
And now I'm going back to bed...
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